Hi, hi! Happy Pride Month! Visibility matters, understanding and sharing our true selves matters. So does being safe and sharing with an accepting audience. This blog is my way of celebrating my Queerness this month :)
Ambiamorous, demisexual, pansexual, genderfluid demi-girl is how I currently understand my personal identity, but also agender and queer in how I philosophically see the world. Allow me to please break this down for y'all, because, as I see it, we each have our own lens of the world. Here is a glimpse of mine-
Ambiamorous: Since I have recently learned this word, I wanted to share the definition I copied from LGBTQ+Wiki. Here is a link, it's a helpful resource: Ambiamorous - LGBTQIA+ Wiki Ambiamory is defined as the ability to enjoy both monoamory and polyamory with little to no preference between the two. This is not a type of relationship, but rather a specific feeling one may have towards relationships. An ambiamorous individual may have only one partner, or they may have multiple. In the case of having multiple partners, consent from all individuals involved is required. Everyone has to be aware that their partner has other partners, and they also have to express that they are okay with it, otherwise it's simply cheating.
This can apply to romantic, sexual, queerplatonic relationships, or any other type of relationship. Ambiamory can be used as prefix for other forms of attraction. For example, in the case of queerplatonic attraction, "ambiamorous" may be switched with "ambiqueerplatonic."
And here is why this fits me:
Ambiamorous
Since I had my first adult love at the age of 23, I had so much to learn sexually and intimately about myself. I have experienced a spectrum of personal experiences from monogamy to swinging to polyamory. I have felt like all of these felt right for me at different junctures of my life. I guess at heart I am a relationship anarchist, who wants to accomplish what feels intuitively healthiest for all involved. Ambiamorous fits for me, because my preference is not for a relationship style. I would not feel incompatible with a monogomous person or a polyamorous person, if they are willing to support and reassure me through the relationship in the ways I desire.
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Demi-Sexual: This has been a recent discovery! I used to think I could easily be sexual with anyone. This might be partially true. I have an impulsive, hyper-sexual side, but honestly, I need to feel an energetic and emotional connection first. As I get older, I find the need for safety and trust to be more important to me as well. It's wild, this even applies to my longest relationship with my spouse! I need time to connect emotionally to feel relaxed and comfy sexually.
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Pansexual: I love across the spectrum of gender. This one feels pure and simple for me. :)
Genderfluid Demi Girl: I love playing dress up and expressing myself through my clothing. I love my black velvet dress, and I also love wearing a sports bra, a plaid button-up shirt, some booty shorts, and comfy sneakers. What is feminine? What is masculine? I'm into biking, running, bird watching, tree climbing. I get my fingernails dirty, I climb on the roof to empty the gutters, and I enjoy carrying heavy things. That makes me human. I often don't get gender norms...and yet, I have always felt like a "girl" even more than the word "woman". I don't think I am "girly" however...i think this collection of characteristics is what assembles me into a genderfluid demi girl. And I also recongize that this is personal identity psychology at a snapshot moment across my timeline of personal development. It's how I personally feel within my self right now.
Agender and Queer Philosophy: And simultaneously, I believe that the binary of gender is a societal construct. We have our interests that rest across a spectrum that people have labeled "Feminine" and "Masculine". I think our romantic and sexual selves are complex and beautiful. Cheers Queers, I love us.
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